Thursday, March 19, 2015
Post 8
The major revision recommended by both graders was to change my paper from a research paper to a literature review. To accomplish this revision I need to synthesize and review my sources instead of just presenting the information. Further, instead of weaving together quotes from my sources, I need to rewrite the information in my own words. One grader also recommended I check the accuracy of my source citing. To fix this problem I need to fix the way I cited the same author with different articles. Both of my critiques suggested I use less technical language. I will address this concern by changing the quotations into more understandable terms using my own words. Another critique was to use some keywords less. I agree, but had difficulty the first time around because there was no other way to say celiac disease or neurological disorders. Nevertheless, I will look for ways to rephrase my sentences in order to use those words less. Also both a grader and one of my critiques recommend I revise run-on sentences in my paper. I will address this concern by changing any run-on sentences remaining after I change my paper into a literature review…or try to anyway!
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I also received feedback on my literary review that it was written more like a research paper so you are not the only one. Also I think in the end it will be useful because we will be writing more of a research paper. I think that sometimes when we are writing in a specific area we have to use keywords over and over again because their is not another way to phrase something, I also repeat words that are describing my topic.
ReplyDeleteMy graders and peers all told me that my paper was more like a research paper, but maybe you can keep your first draft as a source for your actual research paper
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you recognize the revisions. I like that you agree with the revisions that needed to be made.
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