After critiquing three other literature reviews, including the
one in class, I realize the importance of constructing a thesis statement that
matches the information in your paper. If the thesis statement does not match
the information in the paper or the information in the paper does not match the
thesis statement, the paper’s clarity is compromised. In other words, I need to
work on making sure both my thesis statement and my information match each
other lest my paper be confusing. Another error I saw was including irrelevant
information—information that has no purpose in your paper. I also need to make
sure that all of my information is both relevant to my topic and has a purpose
in my paper. Further, all three papers contained wordy sentences, grammatical errors
and undifferentiated sentences—all errors of which I am guilty and errors that
take away from a paper’s clarity. I first need to simplify my sentences by either
removing unnecessary words, restructuring the sentences to be more concise, or
using the active voice where possible. I also need to look for grammatical errors
and make sure my sentence structure is varied. Also, in contrast to the papers
I critiqued, I used a significantly higher amount of quotations and much less
interpretation and paraphrasing. I’m unsure if I need to limit my quotation use
or perhaps my larger quotation use was just a reflection of my topic? I do not
know, but I do need to look over my paper to see if limiting the amount of
quotations would create a better paper.
Very interesting I had the same problem my thesis statement needed a little work. It was too broad and didn't give the reader a good guide to what my paper was about but hopefully when I fix it will help the paper out.
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